The Little Orange

Google Trends: Who’s Tops in Cleveland?

January 24, 2008
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Need to waste some time? Check out Google Trends. It charts both search volume and news-reference volume since 2004 for whatever you type in. For instance, here’s a chart comparing McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and KFC. You can guess who’s on top — but which would you expect to be higher, Burger King or KFC? Hint: having rats in your kitchen sure can give you buzz.

Here are some Clevelandish Google Trends comparisons:

Cleveland, Ohio

Cleveland, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles

Cleveland, Akron, Canton, Youngstown

Indians, Cavaliers, Browns

Grady Sizemore, Lebron James, Brady Quinn

Lebron James, Cavaliers

National City, Progressive Insurance, American Greetings, Sherwin-Williams

Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland State University, University of Akron

Cleveland Orchestra, Cleveland Museum of Art, Cleveland Playhouse

National City, Lebron James, Cleveland Clinic


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Cleveland State, the Green Dot, and Class

January 22, 2008
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Cleveland State’s institutional mascot — I would assume that’s its role, anyway, as we have the newly unveiled Peering Viking for sports — is a green dot with a mortarboard:

CSU’s Green Dot

I hate it. It’s vague, slapdash tripe that really should’ve served as a placeholder on the drawing board and not the actual drawing itself. They took the school’s color, put it on a smiley face, and sat a mortarboard atop its head, as if to say, “With Green, You’re Graduatin’!” Like we attend a convenience store.

I’ve always been thankful that the green dot is usually hidden away within the folds of CSU’s paraphernalia, on webpages only current students would ever have reason to access. Maybe administrators also understand him to be the awkward cousin not ready for society. Maybe he just appears in CampusNet, and is therefore mascot only of my bill-paying and enrollment.

Well, today I logged in to CampusNet to find this:

The Green Dot & Class

Class. Happy MLK Day!


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Progressive Field: A-OK

January 18, 2008
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Have to say, I’m a-OK with the Indians’ Jacobs Field becoming Progressive Field. I know it’s turned more than a few stomachs — and even, in some of Cleveland’s tide pools, threatened the very fabric of space-time. But the way I see it, there are at least a couple of reasons why the venture bodes well for Cleveland, if Cleveland chooses to see it that way.

For one, there’s the money. Put your thoughts of selling out aside. Money is baseball’s raison d’être: baseball would not be without money. Come to grips with it already. Yes, baseball is also nostalgia. There’s nothing like it to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But if you’re going to go to the ballpark and slug down your $5 coke and $6 nachos in your $30 cap and $100 jersey, or even if you only go for the nachos, I don’t want to hear it when it comes to corporate sponsors. You must be aware that baseball is a moneymaker first and foremost. And someday you will come to terms with the fact that money (usually) means good baseball (unless you’re haunted by a goat) and good baseball means good memories and that the nachos and the sponsors’ names are always worth it in the end.

But much more important than the money is the chance for a Cleveland sports team to partner with a high-profile national corporation based in Cleveland. There are very few companies out of Cleveland that are as identifiable as Progressive. We take pride in our baseball team; can’t we take pride in the fact that such a successful company grew up right down the street?

Not only a successful company — a great company. At the risk of sounding like an advertisement, let me say that my experience as a Progressive customer has far surpassed my expectations. When I got rear-ended last summer — by someone without insurance, no less — every single person I interacted with at Progressive had a great attitude, running the gamut of what customer service should be: sympathy, patience, care, cheerfulness, honesty, precision. Progressive’s service was superior, far above almost every other company I’ve ever worked with. Put their name on my ballpark? Go right ahead!

So I take pride in the fact that one of our corporate jewels has plunked its name atop one of our sports teams’ homes. To me, it’s about the region uniting, about sticking together and backing each other up. Accusations of selling out or of the park losing character miss the big picture, the one in which both the Indians and Progressive are huge regional players, employing us, driving our economy, and being good neighbors to us and to each other. Now doesn’t that make you all warm and fuzzy?


Love Note to Mercury Lounge

January 15, 2008
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The best place to dance on West 6th? The best dance spot I’ve been to in Cleveland? Mercury Lounge.

First, I have to admit that if I had my druthers, I’d dance to rap and electronica, neither of which is the centerpiece at Mercury. Most nights I’ve been there, Mercury has been basic dance music with some current chart-toppers sped up and mixed in. That’s the only kind of dancing music I’ve found in Cleveland; if it’s not that, it’s straight-up pop hits of varying danceability. While Mercury’s music is fine for dancing purposes, that it isn’t my ideal dancing music keeps Mercury from being the ultimate place to go. Sigh.

But that’s my only real complaint about Mercury. Beyond that, it’s fabulous. The music is usually pretty good, all but forcing you to get up and jiggle. The crowd is more interesting (and probably older) than the rest of West 6th, a mixture of people you want to get to know instead of droves of assimilated teenyboppers. And perhaps because it’s south of St. Clair and therefore apart from 6th’s main drag, it’s marginally less crowded than the rest of the bars, which means about three more square feet of dancing space per person — essential for a “nomadic dancer” like yours truly.

Hey, the women’s bathroom even has hair products and appliances available for your hair-maintenance needs — if you’re into that sort of thing.

Something that has never happened to me at Mercury is the pouncing that’s inevitable at every single other bar on 6th. Walking through those places is like entering Night of the Living Dead: ghoulish crazed men lurch out of the darkness towards you — towards your front if they’re polite, and if they’re not, up to your derriere, there to wriggle unseen until they get too close or a friend points them out. Even walking past the bar to the dance floor you get assaulted, claws scratching, teeth clacking, strained voices grasping for a clever word.

Mercury, on the other hand, seems to lack the final catalyst that puts the zombies in motion, gripping them in a state of relative reservedness. If men do approach you, they always approach your front first, and they usually make fair — if passing — efforts at eye contact and conversation before going in for the grab. I personally think it’s Mercury’s couches that keep the zombies on good behavior. Ringed around the small dance floor, they ensure that someone is always watching, a sort of dance-club Santa Claus divided among your fellow club-goers.

So thank you, Mercury, for being different, for being better, and for those ass-protecting couches arrayed around your dance floor.


About author

Clevelander birth-1985, 2003-present, and all holidays in between (snow permitting)

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